Let’s Taste The Lube Rainbow

Welcome to my next entry in the lube Saga. 

I got some great feedback on my post about lubricants for people’s sensitivities which made my day and week. So I wanted to talk to you all about the beautiful world of flavored lubes. Flavored lube is one of my favorite things ever!

There have been so many advancements in the market of flavored lubricants! Flavored lubes can make a blow job unbelievable. It can be used all of your body on all of your sex toys. It’s just a magnificent creation by the sex gods. Finding an excellent flavored lube is a harrowing journey that can be super intimidating to those who don’t know where to start. There is a massive difference between a flavored lube that will rock your world and some gunky nasty sweet crap that will give you a yeast infection. 

I’m going to give you a couple of pointers to guide you on your journey, as well as shout out my top three favorite companies that make the most fantastic flavor lubes imaginable. You’ll see companies that you’ve seen numerous times throughout my post, but it’s for a reason, and that reason is that they rock.

No.1

 As previously stated, all flavored lubricants will be water-based, meaning they are safe with all of your toy materials and all of your body parts. There is no flavored silicone lubricant. The silicone taints that flavor, and it will be the most disgusting thing you have ever tasted. So all of your water-based lubricants will be all of your flavor lubricants will be water-based.

No.2 

I would recommend that you aim for a flavored lubricant that doesn’t use a lot of glycerin. It’s a stabilizer, so you’ll find it in almost all lubricants, but some use heavier components, compromising the flavor. You’ll discover glycerin in almost all lubricants because it is a humectant, meaning that it helps retain the moisture in said lubricant. The amounts of Glycerin in lubricants vary depending on the brand, and for people who are not very prone to yeast infections, it might not be harmful, but I like to err on the side of caution. Glycerin can promote possible bacterial vaginosis. I will leave a link for a couple of studies on it. So if you’re looking for a flavored lubricant, but you tend to have a susceptible body, I would suggest looking for something sweetened with sucralose or Stevia. 

No.3

Flavored lubricant is the best alternative to using Dairy sweeteners like ice cream and whipped cream on your body, leading to yeast infections and possibly bacterial vaginosis. Keep that whipped cream on that ice cream and keep that ice cream in a bowl or cone. Aside from flavored lubes, there’s a ton of body toppings and stimulants specially designed for sexual intercourse that tastes super yummy and gives you a tingling sensation that is so much better than the nasty sticky feeling you will get from that melted ice cream. Plus, who wants sticky ice cream residue in their pubes? Ewwww.

No.4

The viscosity of your lubricant matters. If you are not aware of what viscosity is, you’re about to receive some Vital Information. Viscosity is the state of being thick, sticky, and semifluid inconsistency. One of my best friends turned me on to the importance of viscosity and lubricants while having dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings, and she had a horrendous experience with their cheese curds. I thought she was just a bougie bitch, but goddamnit, she was right. Viscosity is super important. If your lube is tacky and sticky, it won’t feel good on your body. You want something that’s slicker and isn’t going to feel like candy syrup.

No.5

Lastly, don’t be afraid to stack up on flavors. Create a flavor profile on your body. The three lubricant companies that I will recommend to you have unique flavors that complement others in their lineup. Make yourself a charcuterie Board of flavors. In particular, one company has a warming lubricant that you can combine with any of their flavors to create a super unique Sensation that I recommend highly to everyone.

 And now on to my top three recommendations for lubricant flavors. 

I have been a fangirl of System JO for YEARS. However, their classic flavors were a little hit and miss with me, but hey, we all have preferences. When I saw they discontinued the JO H2O Flavored – Mint, I was heartbroken because it was and still might be one of my absolute favorite flavors of all time! The tingle and taste were a combination I’m always looking for. 

So when I saw they were releasing a more luxurious line, I was a little apprehensive but excited nonetheless. System JO came through in a BIG WAY!

System Jo has a flavored lubricant line aimed at more decadent flavors called Gelato, and they will rock your freaking world. This lube is sweetened with sucralose and eliminates that nasty Luby taste. They do have their original flavors as well as their gelatos, but the gelatos are my favorite. They recently introduced a white chocolate raspberry which is toe-curling, but from the lineup, I would say that the crème brûlée and the hazelnut espresso are my go-to‘s. It’s like having your Starbucks fix and a side of flan. Aside from the phenomenal taste, the Gelato lineup has created each flavor around a base that is sugar, paraben, and propylene glycol free! And it’s pH balanced!

System Jo has a vast lineup of super tasty products that you can use as body topping or stimulants. Combined with the delicious flavors from their lubricant just gives you endless possibilities of taste and Sensations that you can play with. 

If you’re looking for a clitoral stimulant System, Jo has a Sweet Berry Heat and a Jo Mint chip chill that have wonderful Flavors and alternating Sensations that you can use along with your flavored lubricants. 

System Jo’s Oral Delight arousal gels are water-based flavored stimulants that use a blend of menthol, which gives a tingling/cooling sensation making foreplay and oral activities so much more fun. It isn’t droopy or runny but a thick gel that has a cool sweet flavor. I would suggest this as a fun element for foreplay. My favorite of the lineup is the vanilla, for sure. What’s fantastic about this is that it is L-Arginine and Paraben free!

Wicked has some phenomenal flavors that you just have to try out. When I first got into the industry, their mocha was infamous in my store, and it’s still super yummy. Wicked’s design is sleek and sexy. The all-black bottles with the easy-to-use pump make this a release leak statement that you can have on your dresser or bathroom. Their cinnamon bun flavor is like having a Cinnabon roll that you can combine with their mocha Java for the ultimate sexy breakfast topping. If you’re more into classic flavors, you can’t go wrong with their vanilla bean. It’s got just the right amount of sweetness without steering into the sickly sweet territory. The same can be said for their sweet caramel and their candy apple. But they step their game up a couple of years ago when they introduced the pink lemonade and the Sweet Peach. 

You would think that the strawberry lemonade would be kind of tart, but it is so refreshing. It’s a great flavor if you’re not into a traditionally sweet taste. I was shocked that we could not keep the stuff on the shelves. But hands down, their sweet peach flavor is just an unbeatable one. I still haven’t found a peach flavor that I like as much as wicked. You can mix this with the sweet caramel to make a peach cobbler flavor. There are so many combinations that you can have fun with without any of that gunky, tacky sensation that you’ll find in cheaper lubricants. 

But certainly not least intimate Earth has had my heart for many years. Their lubricants are this unique natural flavor that keeps all the sweetness that you’re looking for in a tasty Lube but also feels like you’re still doing good for your body. The graphic only features a couple of their unique flavors, but it’s a brand that I would highly suggest everyone check out. They do have a chocolate mint which is super close to what I was looking for in a mint lubricant with a little bit of that dark chocolate flavor that is super yummy for a blowjob or any oral activity. The stand out of Intimate Earth’s lineup for sure is their Melt lubricant. This light-warming cinnamon-infused lubricant mimics the natural secretion that you can combine with any of the other flavors to create a warming, flavorful palette. An enjoyable combination is their Fresh Strawberry and their Melt; it makes a yummy warming strawberry flavor reminiscent of a strawberry flavor they had when they were Intimate Organics before the rebrand. Speaking of their strawberry lubricant, it is an excellent option if you’re looking for something that tastes like strawberries. This does not taste like strawberry syrup but like natural strawberries. So it has a tiny bit of that tartness along with that sweetness that you’ll find in a natural strawberry flavor. 

Plus, their lubes are infused with natural extract, so if you want something that’s more natural-based and tastes more like the real thing, then intimate earth has got you covered. They have a mint chocolate chip that I think of dreams and a salted Carmel-like breakfast in bed after hot sex.

There are so many possibilities that you can dream up in the world of flavored lube. This is such a fun way to introduce something new into the bedroom. The beauty of these water-based lubricants is that you can use them with all of your toy materials and all of your body parts. If you’ve never used a flavored lube, pick up a couple of flavors and have some fun. Believe me. You’ll be running to try out new ones in no time. If you have any favorites that I did not mention that you think that I should try out, let me know. I will be making a video all about these wonderful lubes soon. In the meantime, remember that Feeling Sexy Is A Birthright, and I will see you all in the next one.

Let’s Talk About Lube Baby

One of my biggest pet peeves working in a sex shop was hearing people say, “Oh, I’m already soo wet I don’t need that stuff,” or ” I’m young; that stuff’s for old people.” First, of Ewww, keep that toxic ageist crap to yourself. Lube is great! Lube keeps the party going all night long. I love Lube. Lube makes everything better. As I’ve gotten older now, my first year into my 30s, yay, I feel like Lube is even more crucial. There’s so much you can play around with when you use lube. So the fact that there’s this stigma around it bums me out because people are missing out on a lot simply because they’re learning some weird crap from others. So let’s break it down and know a bit about the different kinds of lube and how they can enhance your sex life, whether you’re with a partner or not so that you can make the most out of your time alone in quarantine. 

We can break down lubricants into (1) water-based, (2) silicone, (3) oil, and (4) hybrids. Your flavored lubricants will always be water-based because silicone destroys flavors…… yuk.

No. 1 WATER BASED

Water-based lubricants are your essential go-to’s. They are literally water-based. This is the most basic of the lube families and should be in everyone’s bathroom cabinet.

  • Usually based with glycerin or plant cellulose.
  • Compatible with all toy materials
  • If you’ve never use lubricant, your safest bet is to go with a water-based lubricant. There are many options, and you can try out some really fantastic flavors that will always be water-based.
  • Water-based lubricants will also have the weakest stimulations. By that, I mean if you get a cooling lubricant or a warming lubricant that are water-based, they will have the latest sensation.
  •  The benefit of water-based lubricant is that if you don’t like the feeling or don’t like the texture, you can always wash it away with some soap and water, and it’ll glide right off.

No.2 SILICONE BASED

Silicone-based lubricants are a great lube if you’re just using body parts or specific materials. They’re also the best, in my humble opinion, for any anal intercourse that does not involve a toy that isn’t glass or steel. 

  • Contrary to popular belief, silicone lubricant will not degrade your latex condoms because that is what they are lubricated with. 
  • Your silicone lube is going to be your best friend if you’re having any fun in the water, and it doesn’t evaporate as quickly as water-based lubricants. 
  • This form of lubricant will be nice and slippery than its water counterpart, but it will not come in any flavors. 
  • Stay away from silicone lubricant if you are using any toys because silicone lube can disintegrate material, especially in lower-quality jelly toys. If you are going to use a toy, make sure that it is a very high-quality silicone. I’m looking at you Fun Factory and womanizer or We-Vibe. Or if you’re using any glass or Steel toys, silicone is the way to go. 
  • An enjoyable combination is if you’re using a warming or cooling silicone anal lubricant and you’re using a glass toy. 

No. 3 Oil Based

  • Oil-based Lubes are a tricky business. I will 100% suggest that you do not use 100% refined extra virgin blah blah blah coconut oil or olive oil or jojoba oil. If it’s an oil and is not designated for personal use, please do not use it.
  • Why? Because none of these are tested to be compatible with the pH balance in vagina having people. This means if you are a person who is prone to yeast infections or any vaginal infections, this will throw it off in a gnarly way. That means keep your coconut oil on your hair and not inside your vag.
  • Do not, I repeat, do not use baby oil as a lubricant. It has a ton of additives and fragrances that will throw your pH off. That is meant for babies. It is awful for you. The same goes for unscented massage oils; they are not formulated for personal use and may result in adverse side effects like vaginal infection, yeast infection, and allergic reactions. 
  • There’s a reason that lubricants go through such rigorous testing before they are put on the market. 
  • Oil-based lubricants will also stain your sheets and degrade the integrity of latex condoms and mess up your toy materials.
  • Suppose you are hell-bent on having an oil-based lubricant because you like that slick feeling; go with the next and final type of lubricant: hybrids!

No.4 Hybrid Based

  • Hybrids are great if you want the best of both worlds. Most hybrid lubricants are a blend of water and silicone bases so they give you that slick feel of silicone with the ability to wash it off a little easier, like water-based. 
  • For the most part, they are easy to use with your toys and safe to use with condoms. There are many great lubricants on the market now that are hybrids that are infused with aloe or with coconut oil. 
  • Hybrids are fun to play with, and if you want something that has certain essential ingredients but you don’t want to use something that’s not tested for personal use, find a hybrid that has an essence of that. 
  • Pink has a great hybrid that is a cream consistency that feels great on your skin. 
  • Sliquid has another infused with aloe, so it’s lovely and nourishing for the skin, and if you are a ride or die for coconut oil, System Jo has got you covered. 

System Jo has a fabulous coconut oil-infused lubricant. It is a hybrid that blends water-based lubricant and some coconut oil safely, allowing you to experience some of the slicknesses of coconut oil without any adverse side effects. I will leave a link down for it here. Be warned this coconut oil-based lubricant does not taste like coconut. It has a pleasant tropical smell, but please do not eat it because it tastes nasty.

There’s a lube for everyone so I always adjust getting a bottle of each kind so that you have them in your kit. You never know when you’re going to need to reach for one. Do not fear lubricant it is your best friend and it will make your toys feel better, it will make your body on body intercourse feel better and it will make sure that the party goes on for way longer. 

My Traumatic Fat Body

After re-reading this post several times I think I’m going to make this a series. I don’t think that most people would understand the full context with one post. Soo I hope that you get something out of this first piece and I will see you and the next one.

My entire life, I have been a fat girl. I was a fat kindergartener. I was a chubby 5th grader. I was overweight in Middle School in high school and college and as an adult. I have known nothing else but being fat. I consider it more favorable than a negative because I have had The Misfortune of seeing many beautiful women as I’ve grown up repeatedly mourning this body they once had. They would go on and on about how they were once super skinny and super hot, and then they had kids, and now they’re fat as if it were the worst thing that could ever happen to them. 

My mom is one of these people. She’s one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life, and she would always tell me about how she was really skinny and really hot when she was younger. She was really thin and hot when she got married, and then she had three kids, and her body never snapback. I count myself lucky that I don’t have that sadness in my life. I have a lot of other sadnesses, but that’s not one of them. Here’s the thing about being a forever fat girl I was always reminded of how cute I was and how adorable I was. But I can probably count on one hand how many times I have been told that I was sexy or sexually attractive. And that’s the weird thing I have always thought of myself as very good-looking. Not good looking for a fat girl but just good looking. I think I’m funny. I know I’m smart, and I know that I have a lot to bring into a relationship for companionship or whatever. But I wasn’t ever encouraged to see myself as a sexual being, and I feel like it’s crippled me as a now 30-year-old woman. 2021 will mark….Dear God, almost six years since my last relationship. 

There’s this episode from season 4 of Just Shoot Me called “dial n for murder” where Maya dates this really hot guy who she slowly realizes obsessed with her eating, and it turns out that he is a chub chaser. I haven’t seen the show in almost 20 years, and tell me why that reference is burned into my memory. For some reason, to me, the idea of chub Chasers terrifies me. I can’t grasp the concept of a man finding me sexually arousing because of my fat. And that has a lot to do with the fact that my fat has caused me a lot of pain in my adolescence. I always thought that I was a cute girl, but and there is a big, BUT I have a lot of PTSD and trauma surrounding my weight. So the idea that a man would find me sexy and desirable because of my fat scares the living hell out of me because I tell myself what the hell is wrong with him that he finds that sexy when so many other people have found it the reason to hurt me. Maybe I’m just a massive hypocrite because I find other plus size women other plus-size people super attractive, but I have disconnected my plus-sized body from theirs. 

Here’s another thing, and I feel like I have to make this clear because I don’t want people to think that I was just continuously reminded of my fatness. I have sisters and friends I see as sisters who always try to hype me up. And sometimes I believe them. Sometimes I have bad bitch mode moments. But it goes back to the fact that I do see myself as attractive…..I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that someone I find attractive would see me as such. 

Jesus, I feel like this whole thing has just spiraled, and I don’t know exactly where I started off at or why I started off. I just think that it’s vital that we’re honest about how we feel, even if it makes people uncomfortable or even if people don’t understand. Sometimes I am afraid that I’m going to end up alone, and at the same time, I am so protective of the person I have built myself up to be. I don’t think about my fatness 24/7. Maybe on a day when I’m just not feeling myself, or perhaps my clothes aren’t fitting the way I want them to that day. But I will say that it took a lot of work 2. hang my self-worth on the opinions of people who don’t care about me. That was something that caused me a lot of pain and a lot of mental anguish growing up. It shaped how I saw myself and how I assume that other people saw me and maybe it’s still does subconsciously. But I think that I’m a good person, and I know that I’m kind to others. I know that I have a lot to offer, and I know now that I am a work in progress and continue to PE capable of growth and change. Maybe one day, I will learn not to be so triggered by the idea of someone finding me sexually attractive.

 My goal for 2021 is to give people the benefit of the doubt when they show interest in me and not judge them for liking me when I like me. Self-love is something that I have been an advocate for four years. In many ways, I feel like such a hypocrite because I don’t practice it as much as I want others to. Still, if I want to allow myself to meet somebody and form a connection, I have to be willing to believe that they see something in me that they want to connect with. I know that this post’s structure is super weird and chaotic, but I felt like I needed to throw this word salad out there, and hopefully, it connects with somebody so that they know that they aren’t alone in handling all of this messed up stuff. With that being said, Thank you for listening to my rant and know that I love you, and then I think that you are a bad bitch you are worthy of all the love in the world, and I will see you in the next word salad.

*Featured image by @Bloozchicken

Top 5 Best Lubes for Sensitive Skin

If you have a very sensitive pH, a water-based lubricant will be your best friend. But it can be terrifying because if you’ve never used a lubricant and you’re very sensitive, you may be afraid that something will cause irritation, which is not sexy or comfy. For example, I am very sensitive, which I found out at the embarrassing age of eight. Try being one of the only eight-year-olds you know who can’t take a bubble bath because she gets a yeast infection……. ouch. 

I am always on the hunt for finding the best products that are gentle on my body, and lubricants are a crucial one to get right. So I have cultivated procured created a list of my top five favorite lubricants for people with sensitivity, and hopefully, this will help you out on your journey to find what suits you best. These are not in any particular order. They are all amazing, and I would swear by any of them. If you have any that you have found that are not on my list, let me know in the comments section down below, and I will check them out.

No. 1 Defense by Intimate Earth

I would put this entire brand on this list if I could. I adore Intimate Earth. Their products use organic extracts and natural ingredients. Their products are pure vegan and 100% Paraben and DEA free. They are a women-run company that strives to make the best products, and I adore them wholeheartedly. So what makes defense by Intimate Earth so rad? Intimate Earth Defense Protection Glide contains sea kelp and astringents like tea tree oil and guava bark extract. So carrageenan, where seek help, has been shown to help create a barrier that protects against the HPV virus. This is not in any way to say that it is a form of STD or STI protection, just that it’s another Arsenal in your tools. What I love the most about this product is that it helps to prevent and soothe yeast infection. Unfortunately, I was somebody who had had many of them in my life. It can be super uncomfortable, and using Defense by Intimate Earth helps to cool the fires, for lack a better phrase. This Lube is also latex friendly, so that you can use it with condoms. It has a tiny bit of a tea tree oil scent, but it’s not that bad, I promise, and the benefits outweigh the little bit of sent. I love the texture; it’s nice and silky; it’s just a great product overall. And it comes in 2, 4, and 8 oz bottles.

NO. 2 Pjur WOMAN Nude

This is probably one of the priciest on the list, but it is a game-changer. This water-based lubricant has none of the additives that your typical Lou will have. It is genuinely a nude natural lubricant. It was specially developed for the sensitive skin that we have. It’s completely odorless. It’s a super lightweight water-based lube it’s dermatologically tested and contains no parabens or glycerin. It’s also perfect for all of your toys. This lubricant contains no perfumes or Oils, or fat, so if you have very, very sensitive skin, this is the one I would point you to. This is what I would recommend to my most sensitive customers.

NO. 3 AGAPE Original by System JO

This water-based lubricant is designed to mimic a woman’s natural lubrication. It’s free of Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, and Parabens. It’s also super silky, so it’s not going to be tacky on your skin plus, it has the benefit of being a water-based lube, so it is compatible with all of your toy materials super easy to clean off. This was a customer favorite for sure. I had customers with penises and customers with vaginas who all enjoy this product immensely. Agape is a great lube to add to a Fleshlight for a more realistic feel. It also comes in cooling and a warming sensation while still maintaining that paraben, propylene glycol, and glycerin-free ingredient list. This is the best cooling lubricant I have ever used because it doesn’t cause any irritation that other sensation lubricants do. 

NO. 4 H2O by Sliquid Naturals

I had to set my bougie thinking aside to discover how excellent this lubricant was. It may be the packaging, or it might be the fact that I was trained to sell the most expensive products and always with a promotion mentality. But this Lube is excellent. It is 100% free of DEA, gluten, glycerin, glycol, parabens, PEG, propylene glycol, sorbitol, and sulfates. It’s also vegan-friendly; it’s non-toxic, and it’s hypoallergenic. This is a purified water-based formula it’s nice and slick, so it feels more natural, and it has the added benefit that you can use it with all of your toy materials. What’s fantastic about this Lube is that it is ph balanced as well. You can choose three different sizes: a 2 oz bottle, a 4oz bottle, and an 8.5-ounce bottle. Sliquids also have a formula that is free of all of these additives for anal use. It is called Sassy, and it is an excellent thick water-based lube, but I will put that in my next list, which will be the best anal lubes to look out for her. So stay tuned for that one.

NO. 5 Wicked Simply Aqua

Wicked’s Simply Aqua is like the others on this list propylene glycol, and glycerin-free is water-based, and it is fragrance-free. If someone tells you that you can buy a lubricant for sensitive skin and it has fragrance, they are trying to sell you some sneakers oil, my friends. This lubricant is nice and clean; it’s also vegan, it’s cruelty-free, and what makes this one special is that it contains olive leaf extract filled with antioxidants and is super moisturizing. It’s safe with all of your toy materials. It is latex friendly, and it just has a long-lasting effect that is unique amongst water-based Lubes because they tend to absorb into the skin quicker than silicone counterparts. 

Did I guess your favorite Lube? If not let me know what you standby and I will make sure to leave links for all of these wonderful lubes so that you can add them to your repertoire. I will see you beautiful babes in the next one and remember that Feeling Sexy is Your Birthright. 

Self Love Post Covid

To say that I have been looking forward to 2021 is the understatement of the century. Like many of you, 2020 was not a walk in the park. I lost my source of income. I was locked in my house, terrified of seeing everything that was going on in our country and around the world. I will say that I was lucky enough to be locked in my house with my family, and for that, I count my lucky stars. But like millions of other Americans in September of 2020, I contracted covid 19. It was scary because we did everything that we were supposed to do. 

We wore masks and wear gloves, and bought hand sanitizer and sanitize shopping carts. My dad and I limited our exposure to everything by ensuring that only the two of us went and did the grocery shopping. It was terrifying. We found out that one of our best friends and her son had tested positive, and we take care of her son, so then we went and got tested, and sure enough, the six people living in my house, myself included, all tested positive for covid-19. I immediately lost my sense of taste and sense of smell, and for the first week, I had horrible migraines, body aches throughout my body shivers, and the worst fatigue you can think of. But I count myself lucky that my symptoms only lasted about a week and a half. My family wasn’t as fortunate. My younger sister had all the same symptoms as I, including respiratory problems and a blood clot formed in her leg. my mother was in bed for almost three weeks, which was very scary for a while. But we were able to get through, and we thought that we had seen the end of the road in this then later in November, my aunt and her husband, two children, and our grandmother all tested positive for covid-19, and my grandmother passed as a result of the virus. I say all this because I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling the stress and the fear. I found a lot of support in the sex-positive community, and that helped me get through. Now we’re in January, and I’m pushing through to make a new year count.

  What’s crazy is that as I’m trying to get into a new normal, I’m finding that I’m having many long hauler symptoms, including random body pains and ongoing fatigue. The worst symptom post-recovery has been that my thinking will often become clouded and leaves me feeling anxious and depressed. It has been a struggle to write again and film for my channel. That has been incredibly sucky because this outlet has been such a lifesaver for me the last couple of years. I was hoping to make 20 20 counts and grow my presents online and see the whole year kind of go to waste- kills me, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and I’m pushing to make 2021 better than ever. Now on to the juicy part. I’m a big advocate in masturbation and erasing any stigmas that come from it. It’s the best way to get to know your body and make you a more robust partner when you see what you enjoy. 

I’ve tried to get back into showing myself pleasure and showing myself love, and it’s been an awkward process. Because of covid-19 have any desire to engage and self-love. Even after I tested negative and I was in the clear, I felt like I had no sex drive. So little by little, I tried watching porn, I tried reading some smutty fanfiction, anything that would get me going, and I got bupkis. I will tell you what ended up helping me take the pressure off of myself to be aroused and desirable. I had to learn to listen to my body and not force anything out of myself that wouldn’t happen. The first night that I finally felt a wave of desire, I wish all of my toys and all of my boobs were in my film room in the back of my house. So I tried a little hand action, and I wasn’t feeling it, so I went to sleep. 

I didn’t have any desire to touch myself or anything for a couple of days afterward. But about a week ago, it happened again, and this time I had brought my trusted big boss, and I had my Hydra intimate earth water-based lube, and I was ready to go. It was soo much fun. That first orgasm after almost a year was like this massive wave of release. I felt call Miss. I almost cried because I felt this release of all the tension that I had been holding in my body for so long. For a moment, I felt healthy and normal. If you had the displeasure of contracting this awful virus and had a similar experience, let me know. Let me know how you felt and if it affected your sex drive in any way. What did you do to make yourself feel better, and how long did it last? I love hearing from all of you. We will get through this, and we’ll get through it together. I have so much love for all of you, and I will see you in the next one.

Toy Review: Evolved Grand Beaded Butterfly Vibe

Hello, My Beauties I hope that everybody has stayed as safe as possible during these really trying times. I have been away because I live in California and we have been through a roller coaster of emotions up in here, so I am currently tucked away in quarantine trying to go out as little as possible, and always wearing a mask.

Now, on to the fun stuff! I’ve always stuck true to the statement that if a toy has too many bells and whistles, it’s a lot more likely to break down and it’s probably got a weak-ass vibration. Well, while there is truth to every statement, there is also an outlier and I think that I found mine. This toy has a ton of bells and whistles; we’re talking rotating beads, butterflies, vibe rotation, there’s a lot going on in this toy. It’s also a minty color which is rad because it breaks that color streak we see so much of. I love that a lot of companies are coming up with these new funky colors because sometimes you’re not feeling like a pink or purple toy.

I will be diving deep into all of the amazing features of the Evolved Grand Beaded Butterfly Vibe. This is a great step in the right direction for Evolved. For a long time they’ve been moving towards much nicer, luxury-like toys and they consistently have good price points for beginners.

Because this toy has so many features, I’m going to be describing each of them section by section. We’re going to be starting off with my favorite feature, that wonderful Butterfly! The Butterfly is super adjustable so that different body types can find what works best for them. It also has a really extensive range of intensities since sometimes you’re not in the mood for a strong, clit-focused kind of night, and other times all you want is high intensity. While this toy is not jackhammer strong, the butterfly wings are really great for stimulating the outer labia which heightens its intensity. Another great feature is that the vibration doesn’t just concentrate in the center, it also resonates with the tips of the butterfly wings and vibrates up at the antennas. Just a super fun vibrating butterfly!

At first glance, this toy can seem kind of intimidating because it’s got three different buttons. The button controls the beads, the middle controls the vibration intensities and the bottom button is the off/on button. It may sound a bit terminator like (I’ve been told by my amazing editor lol) but that’s only because it has eight different speeds and functions. The motors can also be controlled separately or together.

Next, we’re moving on to the shaft of the toy. The length of the toy itself is pretty average so if you’re not looking for something that isn’t too large this may be right up your alley “pun intended”. In total this toy is about 9.25 inches long, with the shaft making up about 5 1/2 to 6 inches. It is rigid so don’t expect any flexibility coming from this toy, but that’s because it has pleasure beads on tracks. I have always been a little skeptical about beads, especially on something like the classic Jackrabbit where they’re rotating, because if you have strong pelvic muscles you’re going to stop those beads and it might burn out the engine. So for the average person who likes the feel of beads, it’s a good choice, for other’s I wouldn’t recommend it. The power beads are embedded into the shaft of the toy and have three different speeds; your standard up and down motion, followed by a more intense pattern, and then a very fast up and down motion.

Ultimately, I think the biggest selling point for this toy is how customizable it is. It stimulates different parts of your body without losing intensity in others. My favorite is that the vibration is pretty uniform across the toy which is a huge improvement in dual stimulating toys. Usually, one part of a toy has a much stronger motor than another part, but the Beaded Butterfly Vibe doesn’t have that problem. You can adjust the velocity at which the beads, the vibration pattern of the shaft and the intensity of the vibrating butterfly. Whatever mood you’re in, this toy will give you endless possibilities.Well, maybe not endless, but you do have a total of 75 combinations that you can play with so you can find whatever pleases you most.

Some General facts for your benefit from Evolved’s site:
Made from “luxuriously” smooth silicone
Handle made from ABS plastic with a silky coating
Two separate motors for shaft & clitoral stimulation
8 vibrating functions in each motor
3 Bead speeds
Over 75 different function combinations
Easy to use 3-button control
Completely waterproof & submersible
Fully rechargeable, USB cable included

Dimensions:
Length: 9.25 in.
Width: 3 in.

No toy is without room for improvements and this toy is no different. One thing that I will continue to state over and over again is that I think that with these higher-priced toys should really shift their focus towards magnet charging. The Grand Butterfly has a USB cable charger that comes included and it has one of those needlepoint chargers that inserts in an indented circle in the back, right below the Evolved logo. They are marketed as being fully waterproof but because they are not magnet charged they can’t fully seal, there’s always the possibility of water getting into that motor and killing your toy. These chargers have a really bad habit of bending and snapping at the end. I interacted with a customer once who said that it had bent and broken inside of the toy. The good thing is that Evolved has a great 5-year warranty as long as you have a copy of your receipt and the toy, obviously. You fill out a form online and send them the toy, at your own cost, along with proof of purchase. Another thing that kind of bothers me is this very elusive “luxuriously smooth silicone” label. I’ve heard contradicting things from the sales reps. Some state that they use food-grade silicone, which is not bad, while others stick to the “luxuriously smooth silicone” story. I think that for this price point, they can absolutely upgrade to medical-grade silicone. Fun Factory has vibrating toys, and all of their silicone toys are made with medical-grade silicone and are around the same price.

When I tested it out I used System Jo’s Volt clitoral stimulant. If you apply just a little bit and let it sit on the skin for a couple of minutes, you can get a full vibrating tingling effect. A clitoral stimulant works great when paired with a toy like the Grand Butterfly.

Once all the fun is done make sure that you clean your toy to prolong the life of it. Don’t go for soap and water! Toy cleaners really are not that expensive. As with all of your silicone toys, make sure that you only use a water based lubricant. With this toy, I used Intimate Earth’s H2O it’s a clean, simple water-based lubricant. I also really love System Jo’s Foam Refresh, or Intimate Earth Tea Tree Oil-Infused Foaming Toy Cleaner, if you want something that’s more natural based. Evolved also has a foam cleaner that’s very budget-friendly, so you have a ton of options to go with. Whatever you choose, cleaners are antibacterial, antimicrobial, and anti-fungal so be on the safe side. Considering the world we’re living in now you don’t want to skip out on a decent toy cleaner.

I love all of your faces so make sure that you stay safe! Show your toys some love since we’re all stuck at home, and they will show you love back. Make sure that you check out my social media links, I’ll put them at the bottom of this review. Show my YouTube page some love as well. I’m growing that channel, and I’m really excited to share new content with you all. There’s also a Facebook page, and as always, I am on Tumblr and Instagram all the time! So hit me up and let me know what you want me to review next!

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Toy Review: Rock Candy Lala Pop

Good Hello, Loves!

We’re officially in Christmas and New Year countdown mode and I am knee-deep in tinsel and gift shopping while my blood is basically peppermint mocha at this point. And in all the holiday fervor ya girl has to find a way to wind down at the end of the day, what pray tell you may be wondering is my go-to? The second of my Rock Candy toys that I’ll be reviewing. So buckle in and let me tell you about the amazingness that is Rock Candy’s Fun Size Lala Pop.

Just like the Jelly Bean Curved Bullet, this bad boy is also wrapped in a cute Candyland packaging that screams Mika’s Lollipop.

The fun size collection is such a great idea because it has all the great features of the full-size toys with the added perk that they’re small and travel-friendly so you can take the whole collection with you and not have to just choose one. What’s even better is that you don’t get cheaper quality just because it’s a miniature version, all three of the toys I was sent have a good punch behind them, but I will say that the Lala Pop was my favorite of the bunch. I love the lollipop shape because it has such versatile use and you have a lot more control over how you use the toy because of the handle, so it’s great for nipple play obviously for clitoral use but you can also use it for caressing the shaft or placing it on your neck for mind-blowing oral.

*This toy is NOT intended for internal use or for anal play because of the lack of of a flared base that can result in it getting it lodged inside your body so keep the naughty play to the outside. I can find of way more fun places to be over the holidays than the emergency room.

The Lala Pop has a 4-function motor with 3 speeds and 1 pulse pattern so you can mix it up and try different variations for enticing your senses. I love the smooth ABS plastic body, however, I wish they would switch the PU (Polyurethane) material on the head of the toy for a body-safe or medical grade silicone. It would undoubtedly raise the price, but your toy will last longer. It’s still nice and smooth, but I think it would make the toy even better.

The Lala Pop uses 4 LR44 batteries which are included with your toy!!! Just make sure you remove the cover protecting your batteries before playtime and use a nice toy cleaner like System Jo’s REFRESH Toy Cleaner.

Just like the Jelly Bean, I would absolutely recommend this toy for first-time toy buyers and aficionados alike. It’s budget-friendly and super cute plus you have 3 great colors to choose from. The Lala Pop just like all other Rock Candy make great stocking stuffers or white elephant gifts. The packaging is super non-threatening and won’t embarrass you if they accidentally slip out of your bag while at your parents for the holidays. What’s even better my beautiful babes is that you can get 10% off your purchase at rockcandytoys.com by using the promo code SEXTOYNERD so make sure you get for yourself and the naughty elf in your life.

You can follow me on Twitter at @toynerd_sandra and Instagram if you like my content you can help support me by donating to my Paypal at ToyNerdSandra.

Toy Review: Rock Candy Jelly Bean

Hello hello babes! First off I want to give a giant thank you to the awesome people at Rock Candy for sending me some goodies to play with. I was fangirling super hard when the box came in that I forgot to do an unboxing video. I was struggling on whether to make one review for all three toys or individual ones but I think I’ll keep it short and sweet and make one for each so without further ado let’s get it started!

This review is all about the Jelly Bean Curved Bullet! This toy has a classic bullet shape with a slight curve on the end made to resemble a jellybean, hence the name. It has a larger bullet shape which gives this vibrator a lovely ergonomic curve that feels nice and rumbly instead of a light and buzzy vibe you get from a lot of bullets at this price point. All three of the toys I played with are excellent for foreplay or some rad exterior play. What makes the jellybean stick out against traditional bullet shapes is that curve, it allows you to almost hook the clitoris in a way that most bullets just can’t and boy oh boy does it make a difference, you have more control of motion and room for exploration.

I found that I could use the curve to rock on while using non-vibrating internal toys, you can also use it to caress the nipples or place it against your neck for some mindblowing oral action.

Some stats on the Jelly Bean include:

  • 4 powerful functions: 3 speeds and 1 pulse pattern
  • 2. Splash-proof –
  • Operated by 4 replaceable LR44 batteries, which are included yay! Just make sure that you remove the battery safety seal prior to use. Otherwise, you’ll keep pushing that button and nothing will happen.
  • Measurements for this toy are as follows: Total length: 3.5” Circumference: 3.5”
  • The Materials for The Jelly Bean are a huge plus for me because I’m all about body-safe materials and this little vibe is crafted from two materials: the inner bullet is made from hard and hygienic ABS plastic, and the outer coating of the vibrator is a smooth PU (polyurethane) finish. Polyurethane is a non-porous, hypoallergenic material.

All this makes me feel a lot more confident using this toy on my body. Overall this toy a lot of fun, it’s nice and tiny so you can just pop it in your purse on your own out. It’s also QUIET which is a huge plus and a surprise considering how strong it is. I don’t know how friendly this toy is for attachable dildo’s BUT you can always use it in a harness. If I could change anything about this toy it would be something that I want for all of the toys I got….. Make them rechargeable! I know these toys says that it’s splash-proof, but I’m just not that confident about those labels on battery-operated toys. Also, LR44 batteries have to placed in a certain way that’s a little trickier than traditional batteries and are just annoying to deal with. Making them rechargeable would increase the price, but you’d save a ton in the long run by not having to buy batteries.

I would absolutely recommend this toy for first-time toy buyers and aficionados alike, the material is silky smooth it has a strong rumbly vibe along with being hella budget-friendly. What’s even better my beautiful babes is that you can get 10% off your purchase at rockcandytoys.com by using the promo code SEXTOYNERD

You can follow me on Twitter at @toynerd_sandra and if you like my content you can help support me by donating to my Paypal at ToyNerdSandra.

Toy Review: Colours 5 inch Curve

Hello Hello, beauties!


I’m not a massive fan of non-vibrating toys, I’ve tried a couple, but I just can’t seem to get the big deal of them. I’ve always felt that if I wanted a to fuck myself with something that didn’t vibrate I would just use a penis. Oooo how much we change over time haha. I want to talk to you guys about my favorite non-vibrating dildo of the moment and that’s NS Novelties Colours Pleasures Thick 5-inch Dildo in Hot Pink. 

I gravitated towards this bad boy immediately, mostly because of the nice girth on this toy and the curve that makes it soo much more comfortable for thrusting. The Colours line by Ns Novelties had a ton of super cute colors in varying lengths, but the ones available were all too soft or not thick enough so I thought even if I sacrifice a little on the length I’ll make up for it in the girth. And honestly, some of my favorite toys are on the shorter side, for example, my favorite Fun Factory toy is Miss Bi.  Well, I didn’t have to worry very much because the size was perfect I mean and I’m not always in the mood for a 10 inch. Aside from the great shape and color what drew me to this line is the fact that this toy is made from medical grade silicone so it doesn’t have that nasty chemical smell you find in a lot of dildos. I’ve found that a lot of non-vibrating dildos will have a great range of sizes, colors, and shapes, but goddamnit that smell that comes of most of them is toxic and it has to do with that TPR or PVC. Others like Realistics are made from UR3 which feels really nice to the touch but requires a lot more maintenance than your average is willing to put up with. So medical grade is a great choice, its lower maintenance and feels really nice with none of the stench. 

The suction on this toy is out of this world, it’s perfect for a harness or to use in the shower so you have a lot more options and it’s already attached to your toy so you don’t have to shove anything into the base and remove to clean. For this toy, I used System Jo’s Agape lube in cooling, I live for this lube because it’s Ph balanced and does not get all gross and sticky. For clean up System Jo’s Refresh foam cleaner I love how you can see it get all over your toy, I rub it into my toy and let it sit for 10-15 seconds then rinse and dry off and voila! We’re good to go for next time. 

I honestly don’t have anything bad to say about this puppy 10 out 10 besides that I wished I had gotten one in black as well because I just noticed that they had it and am kicking myself about it, but if Ns is reading this first of all “Hey! Love my toy! and You wanna hook a girl up 😉 hahaha.”

You can buy a variety of sizes and colors at any of these sites

inthegroove

peepshowtoys

Amazon

I personally bought mine at LoversPackage
You can follow me on Twitter at @toynerd_sandra and if you like my content you can help support me by donating to my PayPal at ToyNerdSandra