Self Love Post Covid

To say that I have been looking forward to 2021 is the understatement of the century. Like many of you, 2020 was not a walk in the park. I lost my source of income. I was locked in my house, terrified of seeing everything that was going on in our country and around the world. I will say that I was lucky enough to be locked in my house with my family, and for that, I count my lucky stars. But like millions of other Americans in September of 2020, I contracted covid 19. It was scary because we did everything that we were supposed to do. 

We wore masks and wear gloves, and bought hand sanitizer and sanitize shopping carts. My dad and I limited our exposure to everything by ensuring that only the two of us went and did the grocery shopping. It was terrifying. We found out that one of our best friends and her son had tested positive, and we take care of her son, so then we went and got tested, and sure enough, the six people living in my house, myself included, all tested positive for covid-19. I immediately lost my sense of taste and sense of smell, and for the first week, I had horrible migraines, body aches throughout my body shivers, and the worst fatigue you can think of. But I count myself lucky that my symptoms only lasted about a week and a half. My family wasn’t as fortunate. My younger sister had all the same symptoms as I, including respiratory problems and a blood clot formed in her leg. my mother was in bed for almost three weeks, which was very scary for a while. But we were able to get through, and we thought that we had seen the end of the road in this then later in November, my aunt and her husband, two children, and our grandmother all tested positive for covid-19, and my grandmother passed as a result of the virus. I say all this because I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling the stress and the fear. I found a lot of support in the sex-positive community, and that helped me get through. Now we’re in January, and I’m pushing through to make a new year count.

  What’s crazy is that as I’m trying to get into a new normal, I’m finding that I’m having many long hauler symptoms, including random body pains and ongoing fatigue. The worst symptom post-recovery has been that my thinking will often become clouded and leaves me feeling anxious and depressed. It has been a struggle to write again and film for my channel. That has been incredibly sucky because this outlet has been such a lifesaver for me the last couple of years. I was hoping to make 20 20 counts and grow my presents online and see the whole year kind of go to waste- kills me, but there’s nothing I can do about it, and I’m pushing to make 2021 better than ever. Now on to the juicy part. I’m a big advocate in masturbation and erasing any stigmas that come from it. It’s the best way to get to know your body and make you a more robust partner when you see what you enjoy. 

I’ve tried to get back into showing myself pleasure and showing myself love, and it’s been an awkward process. Because of covid-19 have any desire to engage and self-love. Even after I tested negative and I was in the clear, I felt like I had no sex drive. So little by little, I tried watching porn, I tried reading some smutty fanfiction, anything that would get me going, and I got bupkis. I will tell you what ended up helping me take the pressure off of myself to be aroused and desirable. I had to learn to listen to my body and not force anything out of myself that wouldn’t happen. The first night that I finally felt a wave of desire, I wish all of my toys and all of my boobs were in my film room in the back of my house. So I tried a little hand action, and I wasn’t feeling it, so I went to sleep. 

I didn’t have any desire to touch myself or anything for a couple of days afterward. But about a week ago, it happened again, and this time I had brought my trusted big boss, and I had my Hydra intimate earth water-based lube, and I was ready to go. It was soo much fun. That first orgasm after almost a year was like this massive wave of release. I felt call Miss. I almost cried because I felt this release of all the tension that I had been holding in my body for so long. For a moment, I felt healthy and normal. If you had the displeasure of contracting this awful virus and had a similar experience, let me know. Let me know how you felt and if it affected your sex drive in any way. What did you do to make yourself feel better, and how long did it last? I love hearing from all of you. We will get through this, and we’ll get through it together. I have so much love for all of you, and I will see you in the next one.

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